Words Down Under: Artemis Fowl And The Deltora Three Part 3

Part 3: What I can remember from my conversation with Eoin Colfer, getting books signed, and some lovely website links you should definitely click on!

After the talk ended, I made a dash for the door, and got about 15th – 20th in line. We had to wait a while for the authors to actually emerge (I have no idea what they were doing – maybe talking to some lucky person), but finally they did. Sticky notes were passed around, and you were asked to write your name down, and a message if you wanted Colfer to write one. I had three books: mine, and two of my friends’ who couldn’t make it but had asked very nicely if I could get their books signed. The wait wasn’t too long, although it felt like it, and finally, it was my turn. I was enormously nervous, and when I’m nervous I don’t speak very clearly, unfortunately, so I probably sounded like a mumbler. Usually, I’m not.

The conversation went a bit like this:

Me: Puts down her books and mumbles “My friends are so paying me for this”

Eoin Colfer (EC): Kindly ignores mumbles and starts signing friend’s book “Are you Erika?”

Me: “No, she’s a friend of mine. (I have such wonderful conversation skills, don’t I?)

EC: “Erika is younger than you, isn’t she?” (By the way, this is only an approximation, as I can’t remember how things actually went)

Me: “Yes, she’s twelve”.

EC: “I thought so, because someone your age doesn’t need to be told to keep reading.”¬† (I had written a generic keep reading message for Erika’s book, as I had no idea what she wanted)

Me: “Mm. I was wondering, how much of Douglas Adam’s material did you use for ‘And Another Thing’?” (This was one of the questions I wanted to ask him, and the only one I did. ‘And Another Thing’ was the 6th instalment in ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy’ trilogy by Douglas Adams, which Colfer wrote as a tribute on the 30 year anniversary of the first book. )

EC: “I didn’t use any of his material – I read his books, of course, and I know that some of his pieces were published, but I didn’t want to copy his style…” (I can’t remember what else he said, but this was the essence of it.)

EC: Starts to sign the next book

Me: “I’m not Andrea either”

EC: “What’s this? Ham?”

Me: “Yes, HAM”*

EC: “Are you sure you want me to write this?”

Me: “Yes. It will make her very happy”

EC: To himself¬† “Alright. Ham forever…”

Me: “Ah. This is me. Livne; L-I-V-N-E” (I had to spell my name because he couldn’t read my atrocious handwriting – it was a bit embarrassing!)

EC: “That’s a nice name. I’ve never heard it before”

Me: “Thanks” (Told you I was brilliant at conversing casually. Not)

EC: “And this?” pointing at my last name.

Me: “Ore; O-R-E”

EC: “Did you know that in Ireland that’s another name for gold?”

Me: “Yes. Translated into Hebrew, it also means light”. (Where did this random fact come from, you may (rightfully) ask. Well, it so happens that I am Israeli, and speak Hebrew. I stupidly forgot to mention this -oh-so-pertinent fact. So it sounds like I’m showing off or something. I wasn’t by the way)

EC: Stares blankly “Oh”

Me: Collects books “I hope you enjoy your stay in NZ”

EC: “I already am. Thank you”

Me: Walks off regretfully, looking back “Thank you!”


So that was my conversation with Eoin Colfer, without the stutters and slightly annotated by memory.

*HAM stands for Holly Artemis Minerva, because of the love triangle that was between them at one point in the books. My friend, and avid fanfiction fan, loved the acronym HAM, and took to saying “HAM forever” and making a triangle. I could not tell Eoin Colfer this, obviously, as it would have been extremely embarrassing to explain, so I left it at that.

I, who left the message up to Colfer, received a “With Fowl Wishes!”

When I got home, after emailing all my friends and writing what I could remember as a draft on WordPress, I still couldn’t get to sleep, buzzing with the after-event adrenaline high, so I ended up surfing the net looking for recent Eoin Colfer stuff.

I came up with:

  • Eoin Colfer’s new Facebook page, made in February 2012, which had heaps of questions and answers about the book.
  • A short interview about Eoin Colfer’s latest Artemis Fowl book, “The Last Guardian”, which also had the first chapter as an exclusive excerpt.
  • Two new interviews with Eoin Colfer, from the Listener and the NZ Herald.
  • A radio interview of Eoin Colfer on Radio NZ National on 10th May.

And that was my experience with Eoin Colfer, 2012.


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