The Misadventures of a Preoccupied Mind

“Let me explain. No, that will take too long. Instead, let me sum up: I forget things. Important things. This extends to baking.”

“So? Is that any reason to treat those poor Anzacs like that? You’ve just thrown them all in the bin, and they’re not even burnt! Wasting food is wasteful.”

“Yes, Captain Obvious, I knew that. And they’re in the bin because I accidentally used salt inside of sugar -”

“What?Why??

“In my defence, they weren’t labelled!”

“Yes. That’s why you taste-check if you aren’t sure what something is. Common sense; have you heard of it?”

“Well….”

“Mm hmm. A whole batch of cookies, rendered inedible due to your ‘skills’. This is worse than the pancake debacle of Year 7. Sheesh.”

“Oi!! Those pancakes tasted fine, thanks!”

“You were meant to make a healthy breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes don’t count. Especially if you forget to let the mixture cool and end up melting the chocolate and adding – what was it, half a bag? – enough to turn the pancakes brown.”

“They were authentic chocolate pancakes, it was on purpose!”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“All right, no, it wasn’t but still…”

“No excuses. Anyway, that’s not even mentioning your vendetta against eggs.”

“I do not have a vendetta against eggs.”

“Well then, explain why you regularly leave them out of recipes, huh? They never did anything to you, and you abandon them to the fate of omlettehood inside of putting them in pancakes and muffins.”

“They taste fine without eggs, stop being melodramatic.”

“Listen, you once made scones with no baking soda, I think I’m required to -”

“Shut up.”

“Really, I don’t see why you don’t let me -”

“Seriously, shut up. These chocolate chip cookies will turn out divine.

“What are they made of?” (hesitantly)

“Butter: unsalted, sugar, sweetened condensed milk, flour, baking powder, chocolate chips, an egg…oh, dammit to hell!”

“What? What did you forget now?”

“I added an egg! Why did I add an egg? How can I be so stupid!!!

“erm?”

“There shouldn’t BE an egg in chocolate chip cookies. I give up, you’re right. You bake. I’ll just eat your stuff passive-aggressively.”

“All right.”

These aren't mine. They look nice, though, don't they? (wistful)

These aren’t mine. They look nice, though, don’t they? (wistful)

This was just because it’s really early in the morning and I decided to bake some stuff, and the chocolate melted in my chocolate chip cookie mixture…also, yep, I have done ALL those things, I am incorrigible, I don’t even know why because I will have the recipe book RIGHT THERE in front of me, but oh well. Yes, I’ve known that pancakes and muffins taste fine without eggs 😛

I’ve never had an actual conversation like this, though. I tried to make it realistic (ish?), which is why there are repetitions and minor sentences and such. If you listen to someone talking, it actually sounds very boring and, yes, repetitive, as people rephrase questions and integrate them into their answers, and start with ‘umm’s and ‘er’s. Dialogue sucks – I don’t know how authors do it (or any other part of writing, actually.)

– Let’s call me Lily

is calling it a day (the cookies turned out nice anyway, although I haven’t tasted the muffins [which have an egg in them this time – yay!] yet…)

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