My Most Profound Apologies

But school and applying for universities and scholarships, and panicking over various things including exams, being behind on school work, the future, etc….

(as well as procrastinating doing all of these things, yes)

And just a lack of thoughts in general,

has meant that it doesn’t look like I’m going to be posting any time soon. I may surprise myself, but, just letting you know (if you care? Maybe I’m just saying this into the fathomless void that is cyberspace).

 

Sorry (an apology to myself as well, for not posting, because I enjoy it and I have things which I’ve been meaning to write about for ageeeeeeeeees)

-Let’s call me Lily

Dramatic Monologue is Dramatic Indeed

For English every year, a dramatic monologue or seminar is part of the curriculum, and this was mine! It’s lush with exclamations, borrowed quotes and inversed sentences; I hope you enjoy a look into Paulina’s mind (she’s a character from Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale).

Paulina after the announcement of Mamillius’ death in Act 3, scene 2. A freeze-frame monologue that fits in between the aforementioned moment, and her announcement of the Queen’s death, which concludes the speech and links back to The Winter’s Tale.

 

What befalls us now? A fallen heir, my lady swooned; nothing left but a court confused and a wrathful king to rule them.

Leontes’ mind is riddled with disease; a jealousy so strong that it has eaten through reason. To sink so quick into the quagmire of twisted logic; incarnadine Hermione’s rosy lips with the colour of deceit, and so too the actions of Polixenes … had it not been an hour, merely threescore minutes since the three were merrily exchanging affable witticisms in the court? Dissension snuck too bold, for it reared up in Leontes’ mind as guise to friendship, as duty to lust, and ‘ere the king has thrown the queen into an iron trap.

“Speak you”, he charged her, but whilst she may speak her innocence, he doth accept them lies. Thus she speaks not at all, further putting proof into his troubled mind, further giving corroboration of her tongue-tied guilt. Certain of the cuckold’s horns exhibited from whence his hair doth stop, Leontes will not be prevailed upon to halt in his bitter polemics against the chastity of his queen. For in his mind, if women say so, that will say anything but were they false, why then naught Hermione says will cast aside his jealous fervour. Falsely determined betrayal enshrouds his thoughts with violent anger, and vile allegations has he made against the best. He will not be swayed; his reason sundered from his mind.

Claiming nothing to be something! Nothing is what swayed my lord from his preconceived conclusion – not the earnest protestations of Camillo, who wished Leontes be cur’d of his diseas’d opinion, nor those of my dearest husband, he who would hold every dram of women’s flesh as false if ‘tis true Hermione be. Not the eloquent defence of the Lords at my behest! Even the babe, that wholesome evidence for the good queen’s fruitful and unswerving loyalty, did not convince. The print was little, but held truth within it; eye, nose, lip; the whole matter and copy of the father! Nature, which hast made it so like him that got it … well! Even nature was ignored for sightless tyranny. My lord, from ‘pon his throne, casts accusations of paddling palms and pinching fingers, and making practised smiles, though none are seen by us. He believes his perception true, yet if it be so, were it not also true to say that ours would all be clouded? And that be false – ‘tis clear as day!

Yet, knowing this, did I not send forth Antigonus to do Leontes’ crazed bidding? Did I not!?! For though I raged against the deed, I did nothing to derail it. I stood, accepting, by his side as he took the infant from Hermione’s arms and set her on his shoulder; I helped pack food and drink for the long journey to abandonment; and I kissed him goodbye on the day he left. In such a way have I betrayed my queen and my reason, and thus I am struck by wretched evils that rightfully befall me for my sin. For my complicity as bystander I am punished, and ye gods punish well, for am I not now standing by my daughters’ grief and joyless tears? Am I not standing by to see their futures perish? For dear Antigonus is dead. Their future shall be as the good queen’s daughter, and only when she is regained shall our fortunes change.

An ill wind blows through this kingdom’s fields, turning fresh wheat into rotted hay and murmurings into much-bent gossip. Mamillius is listless; cumbered with the tribulations of the imprisoned queen – no smiles light his face whilst his mother languishes in grace. Ne’er the less, he is innocent! He ought not have been so struck, so quick to fasten and fix the shame on’t upon his blameless self. I weep for that dear child’s fate, for too soon did the heavens claim him; too soon did Mamillius fall for sorrow of his mother’s conjured ills. That he should die and leave the throne without successor unseats us all! ‘Tis for sure an omen of disastrous strife, as the Oracle proclaimed: “Leontes is a jealous tyrant”, and the king shall live without an heir till that which is lost be not found. This kingdom needs no more calamity – Leontes, he in madness, he has wrought enough. He must needs a catalyst, for if his path is not revised, nary a thing we’ll do may stop him.  Hasten I, and make such one that will remould his course.

My lord Leontes – the news is mortal to the queen: look down, and see what death is doing!

!!!!!

The past two days have been unspeakably exciting. Literally.

 

First, there is a thing which I may not speak of yet, but which I assure you caused me to toss and turn, sleepless, for HOURS. Although that may have partially been caused by my lingering feeling of being at Rainbows End all day as part of a physics trip (I successfully coerced myself to go on the FearFall in the name of science, as well as trying out the new ride, StratosFear, which was lovely and gentle – on a similar fright level as the Pirate Ship in the “less extreme” version, and utterly TERRIFYING in the “more extreme” version.

That’s the FearFall on the left, and the new ride, the StratosFear, in the forefront. You are left dangling upside down for innumerable seconds *shudders from left-over fear*.

Secondly, and here is something I can talk about: this year I entered the 2014 Cap-Ironman RBB, because I thought it would be a nice challenge, especially as I no longer take art at school, and I thought it could be a great opportunity. (I’d like to note: I have mostly refrained from talking about fanfiction, shipping, etcetera – I think I have one post that’s still saved as a draft because I decided I didn’t want to go there – but I don’t ship. At all. I appreciate everything that is articulated well and has a plot, regardless of whether it is a published author’s work, or that of a hobbyist who is taking familiar characters and recasting them into a new scenario.) So, I sketched a picture. And an author chose me. We published our respective collaborative works on the 5th May, and ever since, I’ve been getting lovely comments about her story (and one about my art) in my inbox. It’s great 😀

Thirdly! As I wrote a while back, I publish some of the work in here on a website called TeenInk, because it tends to have a bit more of an orientation towards commenting and constructive criticism than wordpress does. Well, they publish a print magazine every once in a while, choosing between whatever has been written online. And today I received an email saying that my poem will be published in their print magazine!!! Which has approximately half a MILLION readers!!!!! This, this excites me 😀 The poem in question is called Open Window, Closed Door, if you’d like to read it 🙂 You can also search for it on the left, or click here for it on this site.

 

So, here’s to a happy Mother’s Day for everyone tomorrow, and let’s hope that some of my prodigious luck is distributed to you as you read this!

– Let’s call me Lily

 

P.S. Yes, reviews, I know. I am sorry. I am rather busy at the moment. They are (slowly being written). They will arrive.

Stark Lights for Remembered Shadows

This is the one I submitted to my teacher (although I’m not completely happy with it either). It comes in two versions – the original:

Let lights be stark
To forthright
Shadows lie, squandered in the dark

Should all ye hark
at break of dawn, when faded is the light
Let lights be stark

The innocent remark,
For we who travel free of fright
Shadows lie squandered, in the dark.

When moonlight rises, a warning bark
Will tell all travellers to ‘ware of the bedevilled wight;
Let lights be stark

Should you embark
Upon a quest, always remember, and recite:
Shadows lie squandered in the dark.

So light the spark
For those fools who walk this Earth at night
Let lights be stark:
Shadows lie squandered in the dark.

And then the second version, in which I changed a couple of words – literally – to the last stanza at my dad’s behest. This makes the last stanza feel more like a turning point, I think. The revised stanza read:

So light the spark
For those few braves who dare to walk this Earth at night
Let lights be stark:
Shadows lie squandered in the dark.

P.S. Wight is a real word, albeit in Olde English. You can look it up if you like 🙂